Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Well, in three years time...


Palace at home was a grim sight. A disappointing loss in the Carling cup is usually water off a duck’s back to reds and when one considers the limp exit to Coventry back in 2008 and the image of Michael Mifsud tearing Gerard Pique a new one then we know things can change. Where will the boys of Palace end up?

Ben Amos: A steady Eddie. A couple of years of Carling cup ties awaits followed by a loan followed by a move. Secretly delighted about this year’s Europa exploits. Get the passport out lad.

Rafael: A year of hamstring injuries, followed by shoulder problems followed by dislocated fingers and rounded off with growing pains despite the fact he will be 25. His injuries are maddening because he is the business.

Chris Smalling: A permanent fixture at centre-half please boss. Stop messing him about at right back. That stop gap measure seems to be becoming an every week thing. Was so far ahead of every other player in red against Palace it was almost an embarrassment.

Jonny Evans: I like Jonny and I ain’t afraid to admit it. He gets some ridiculous stick but I’ll wager in three years he will still be here and we will say he’s the type of player every successful club has in their squad. He will then move to Sunderland.

Fabio: See Rafael.

Antonio Valencia: We can thank the boss for shattering his confidence early this season with an ill-advised stint at right back. Needs to return to the chalk on boots- knock it past the full-back-get the cross in player we love. He will still be around.

Darron Gibson: Well it was a shock that he stuck around, not as much of a shock as the crowd yelling shoot every time he got the ball against Palace. In fairness he wasn’t our worst player on the night and he gets some desperate abuse but he isn’t up to it, simple as. Let’s hope Martin O’Neill continues Sunderland’s policy of taking our cast-offs. He Northern Irish too, Martin.

Ji-Sung Park: It would be great if we could hang onto him and bring him out every time we play Arsenal. It would be better if we didn’t have to use him in central midfield. Won’t be here in three years as he will literally run back to Korea Forest Gump style. Cracking song though.

Mame Biram Diouf: The mini Drogba remember that? He always looks decent in the reserves but truth is he was brought here to beef up his CV and then move him on for a tidy profit. In three years he will be playing five a side with Misfits United alongside Tosic, Manucho, Dong and Liam Miller. That or he will be at Sunderland.

Dimitar Berbatov: It’s hard for a committed Berba fan such as myself to face the facts. It just hasn’t happened. He contributed hugely and should always be remembered fondly for his contribution to nineteen and moments of sheer beauty. Let’s hope he quits the game, moves to Paris and writes that 18th French noir novel he’s been itching to start.

Federico Macheda: We’ll always have Villa Kiko, but we had such high hopes. He was cumbersome, slow and downright rubbish against Palace. He then missed from a yard out in Basle. Fergie seems to like him so maybe he has the inside track on some Italian stallions. A steady descent from Serie A to C awaits.

Ravel Morrison: Column A: A world class midfielder player, with vision and poise and one capable of adorning any team in the world. Column B: The Daily Mail’s front page. No one wants to go there Ravel. Knuckle down kid.

Paul Pogba: Well he mightn’t be here next month unless he gets paid. He deserves a massive wage hike given his vast contribution to the first team. That unfortunately is the game these days and considering how we swooped in on Le Harve we shouldn’t expect sympathy. He isn’t that good anyway. Will doubtless end up bossing Barca’s midfield.

Zeki Fryers: A good lad, tough and quick but his poise in possession doesn’t half need work. Too soon to tell but Sunderland isn’t a bad fall back.

This first appeared in Red News.

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